Jordan
http://www.theriverjordan.net

To the author, well done in pegging the issue so furiously upon the head. While I claim no official religion, I agree with your conclusions regarding the desensitizing of ourselves as a culture to things that were once held to be sacred and pure. We’ve perverted them and left them to rot in the ditch beside other creeds and ethical charges we also placed on a pedestal. We call child murder “abortion” because it softens the blow. We look at promiscuity as a means of “exploring our personal boundaries” instead of calling it what it is: complete lack of self-control by a person too immature to hold themselves accountable.

Anyhoo, before I start to rant too hard. Good job again, Mr. Kurek. Good job.

It’s like we “choose” to forget how to use our conscious and purposefully pick and choose what we will take from Christianity.

Two really quick points to make.

1. To faith and ANY other person commenting who claims to be a Christian… You can not justify fornication. PERIOD. It is sin and there is no circumstance where it is okay. God says that we have to honor the laws of Ceasar unless they contradict his laws. Therefore, marriage has to be validated by the government and has to be performed through a union properly sanctioned. Faith, you may have known in your heart, but there were times your marriage almost didn’t go through, up until 6 days before the wedding. To make it all happy fun and games is to remember it all falsely. You guys were pretty much forced to get married because of a surprise pregnancy… That’s it. There was no real choice in it. It was a mistake that you guys were able to make right because of supportive families. The difference between me and my fornication and you guys and yours is that I never tried to justify it. I always felt in my soul, guilt, remorse and pain for what I was doing to my God, and you just sat back and defended yourself by trying to rationalize why you did what you did. This is sin people. I hate to be an ass, but if you claim to be a Christian then the Bible has to be taken seriously.

2. Christianity is NOT a buffet that you pick and choose what to follow. You either believe it, and do what you can, or you don’t. I am what people consider an emerging Christian, meaning I am more liberal in my beliefs than most. But even I can not justify sin to fit my own BAD choices..

Faith, I read your verses and neither apply because:
1. I’m not judging, Im asking a question, and
2. I’m not in any kind of a sexually sinful relationship.

Thanks for all of your time!

And please forgive the spelling and grammar mistakes. I wrote this half asleep in the dark.

And just to clear something up… I am not judging these girls, I am questioning where their view of sex became so shallow…

I have been in a pre-marital sexual relationship, and sex alone does not leave me attached, because I have been attached to someone without sex. Co-dependancy is a bad thing whether you are married or not, because everyone has their time to go and if one goes without the other it leaves the co-dependent individual with lots of issues other than losing their spouse. If you have sex the way I do, where it has meaning and is not used just to satisfy some need you may have, you don’t get uncomfortably attached to anyone. I have not dealt with an STD or an unplanned pregnancy, but I do have married friends who have dealt with these issues. Just because you wait until you are married doesn’t guarantee that your partner won’t “get bored” and look eleswhere, thus the risk for an STD, mainly because this would probably include a prostitute of some kind. As far as the unwanted pregnancy, if you are not married and your partner doesn’t want a child then you have the choice to raise it yourself, but if you are married and in this scenario, that decision gets a bit more difficult. I don’t believe the Bible, but I believe in God, So no biblical basis is here.

You hit on several major points I wanted this to go…

So you are an atheist? Let’s talk sex outside of religion and in terms of only the act itself and if the conversation leads that way, broad spirituality.

This is where I was asking the questions: “So I pose the question to anyone not religious. Defend sex before marriage. Show me how it has helped you be a better person, helped you be a more attentive boyfriend or girlfriend, and how it has profited you. Anyone?”

No in regards to the relationship of marriage… Marriage is a lot different from any other type of relationship. Think, two non-related (related if you are from West Virginia, but I digress), willing participants who enter into a legally binding, and spiritually sanctioned, traditional union… Isn’t that a lot different from “A piece of paper that legally binds you to someone for all eternity, (or until you feel like breaking up and getting a divorce)”?

And as far as the act of sex is concerned, we all have different views of its purpose and it’s place… But which view point causes less stress and pain.

If a baby is conceived in marriage and its a surprise, isn’t that easier than a baby conceived to two people not married? Before you answer that, ask yourself why adoption agencies will much more readily give a married couple a kid than a single person…

If you are married, and one of you has an STD, both of you will know it and plan accordingly. Married people usually don’t just catch random STD’s from their spouses, unless the spouse 1. is cheating, or 2. had a pre-existing condition.

On to co-dependence. Isn’t it better to be co-dependent on a spouse than someone you aren’t married too and aren’t married people supposed to be somewhat co-dependent?

You said… “The guilt that people feel when they lose their virginity too soon comes from years of religious people telling them that they are bad if they do it. Nobody wants to be thought of as bad.” I agree, but the problem is not religious people telling them they are bad to do so, the problem is instinctive.

You may say that its natural for people to have multiple partners because we were created to desire that physical contact. I say that it may be our natural desire, but even more strongly is our desire for monogamy, especially where procreation comes into play. It provides for a stronger genetic line, healthier children, and a more ordered environment. Call that evolution, or creation… It’s irrelevant.

Now as far as sex in a relationship. Have you ever seen how much easier it is for a relationship to become unstable after premarital sex? Read the statistics. Our physical actions have a VERY strong connection to our emotional state of being. Next time you are sick ask yourself why you are grumpy. Same thing.

Of course this is all my opinion, and I appreciate your time having this conversation! And I DEFINITELY appreciate someone commenting that holds a differing viewpoint… You are one of a kind Melissa. Talk to you soon!